In my journey of knowing the Lord, I have struggled so much about praying; publicly and privately.
I don’t know if you feel the same but since I became a Christian, I have this feeling of anxiousness and fear whenever I was asked to lead the opening or closing prayer during our mentoring or other church activities, even in the simplest grace before meals prayer.
I am afraid that my prayer will not be “good-enough” for God. I thought that in prayer, you should sound convincing, appealing and holy. Even during my quiet times, I’ve had hard times trying to arrange all my thoughts making my best to complete the pattern of prayer: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication (ACTS).
I have read different books about praying and none of them worked for me. It just made my prayer time exhausting. I then realized that I was pretending in front of God. Why would I try so hard trying to compose a poem-like prayer when all He wants from me is to lay down ALL my burdens, thanks and praises in front of Him.
What made me think this way?
“No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15
Jesus called me FRIEND.
I have many friends, inside and outside of the church. But what is a friend for you?
For me, a friend is someone whom you can trust everything about your life. She won’t judge me if I made mistakes. She can keep my secrets and willalways want the best for me. A good friend will always find time to see you or to talk to no matter how busy their life can be.
So, how can I even trust someone whom I cannot see? Of course it takes time. Give yourself enough time to know the Lord by reading, studying and meditating His Word—The Bible. God knows the desires of our hearts, and if He can clearly see that your purpose is right I am sure He will do miracles over miracles just to make you believe that He is real. It took me almost two years before I finally give my complete trust to Him, and I never had any regrets with that decision.
If God is my friend, why would I pretend? Why would I not tell him all the things that I feel; yes, everything—good or bad feelings God wants to hear it all. I learned to be closer to God in prayer when I was facing a family problem. I have nobody to talk to because the problem might get bigger if I’ll tell it to someone else.
I held my journal and wrote every single thing that was inside my heart during that moment. After I wrote everything, I felt better. You know that feeling, when your heart just want to explode because of the burden you’ve been carrying for the longest time, then suddenly you found your friend and you are able to share to her everything. And that friend was just there, simply listening to all your sentiments and even you are able to say your negative feelings she won’t judge you either? That was the feeling I felt after I wrote my prayer to God.
I realized that it is not the manner how you say your prayer but it is the manner of how you come before Him in prayer. God wants us to be honest in prayer, he wants a heart that trusts and believes in Him. All God asks from us is to believe Him and He is very willing to take over in our lives.
Jesus said that as a Christian, we are no longer his servants —because God himself doesn’t exist to boss around. God sent Jesus here on earth because He wants more than sacrifices; He wants a relationship WITH us. That is why, Jesus called us friends.
After that day, my prayer time was never the same again. Every time I come to the Lord in prayer, I come to Him as a friend as well as His child. Waiting and wanting more of His love. There was no boring moment whenever I sit down anywhere, holding a pen and my journal writing my prayers to Jesus. Another thing I love about praying to God as a friend is that whenever He rebukes me through the Word/Bible, I don’t get offended, a real friend will put your relationship at stake just to let you know what is right from wrong isn't?
I don’t know how you pray, but one thing is for sure, whatever it is in your heart right now, it might be a bondage, family problem, school problem, whatever it may be; God is always willing to listen.
John 5:14-15
14This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.
Stop pretending to be the all-holy-looking church lady, God loves you for who you are. ;)
After you read this, get the nearest pen in your table and grab a notebook or paper in your table and start writing your love letters for the bestest friend you could ever have in your lifetime—God.
