Free at Last!

                                           Photo courtesy of : The New York Times

Imagine this: Doctors and nurses on panic, my mother lying in bed, lifeless. A nurse was suctioning her through her nose, another nurse placed an oxygen pump in her mouth, and another one is pumping her chest. The doctor shouts to give nurses the instruction on what and how many medicines will be given to my mom through her dextrose. All these are happening in front of me. 

I know you are wondering what I was doing when all those are happening. Yes, I was praying. Praying that may God extend my mother's life so that I may introduce God in her life. I was faithfully praying for her temporary physical salvation from death.

After forty-five minutes, God didn't heard my prayers. He took my mom's life from us.

Twenty-first of June 2011, Tuesday at exactly 2:45PM (Philippine Time), my mother died in front of me. Cause of death, Cardio-Pulmonary arrest, and it was a diabetic complication since she was suffering from diabetes for almost a decade when she died. 

When the doctor looked at me, I cried. I perfectly understand what her eyes wanted to say. I cried not because my mom already died, not because she can no longer be with us. I cried because I felt that I was not able to help her know the truth - the truth that will set her free. 

I was spiritually renewed through God's grace recently, I was freed and forgiven from sins and I know the truth. And I was not able to share that to my mom who is  really in need of salvation. I felt that I failed what God wants me to do, to win souls. I was a disgrace and I am so disappointing in God's eyes.

I can't stop asking myself if my mother will go to heaven or she will be burned in the fires of hell. The thought of hell almost killed me. I cannot accept that my loving mother will be there. Isn't it awesome when all the members of your family will be in heaven when His judgement time comes? 

One night while I was praying, God talked to me and said: "Everything's alright, worry no more my child." Every time I remember how God assured to me that my mother will be in heaven, I can't stop but cry. I am crying not of sadness, but of joy and celebration. Lord's assurance is all I believe in and I know that He will take good care of mama. 

I have tried to share words to her but I don't have the courage to do so. But our God is a god of second chances. If I was not able to let my mom receive Jesus as her personal savior, there is another person sent by God to let my mom receive Christ. Maybe God made His own way to touch my mother's heart before her death. 

The days before her death, she was silent. I think those were the times she was praying and asking for God's forgiveness and mercy.

Today, she is with the Lord for two months and two days to be exact. My mom suffered of illness for 10 long years, she had undergone eye operation due to Diabetic Retinopathy. She had undergone dialysis due to her kidney failure and many more medical operations. Her body was ruined by her illness.

Here on earth she suffered nothing but pain, but now that she is in heaven with the Lord, she is free at last! :)

To God be the Glory!

"For you will be saved, if you honestly say, 'Jesus is Lord,' and if you believe with all your heart that God raised him from death. God will accept you and save you, if you truly believe this and tell this to others." 

Romans 10: 9-10

                                 Photo courtesy of : Alvin Guevara