Perfectly Imperfect

“Accept each other as Christ accepted you; then God will be glorified.” Romans 5:17

In your journey of discovering your purpose in life, you will meet different kinds of people. There will be people who will remain true to you and there will be people who are good to you when they want something from you. People will love you, people will hurt you. People will value you and some will just use you. For sure, those people who do good things for you will be easily put on your "Beloved list". How about those who have hurt you? Will you hate them forever?

I want to share to you a story on how I tried to discover what God was trying to teach me on one of the most difficult people I have encountered in my life so far. ("So far" because I know after this, He'll give me more difficult people to be with, well its part of the test) 

I consider this person difficult because he knows me when he needs me. Yes, a user-friendly kind of person. Even though he was mad at me, he has the guts to ask me to help him do some of his stuffs. Of course in the beginning I don't know that he hates me to the bones. So I have no idea what he has in mind while I am being the good-helping-girl who does my best just to help him out. To cut the story short, God allowed some things to happen to let me know what kind of person this man was. 

This man hates me because he feels jealous about me ( I won't elaborate why, for some personal reasons and because I really don't know enough reason why he should hate me). As a human, I felt betrayed, I felt used and abused. I underwent a series of depression. At church, I was told to forgive those who sinned against me so that God will also forgive me (Mat 6:14-15). So I tried to forgive him and pretended I wasn't hurt. Actually, he has no idea what was happening to me that I already discovered his true feelings towards me. 

The story didn't stopped there. It happened not just once, twice, it happened a lot of times. I got depressed again, felt bitterness and resentments towards him. During the hardest part of depression, I realized that I have been trying my best to forgive him. Why can't I? I kept on trying my best to be the best person that I can be towards him but he kept on disregarding all my efforts. I felt I wasn't appreciated after all those things that I have done for him. 

I kept on praying to God to help me forgive him. That may he reveal to me what was it that He was trying to teach me. I realized that if I will not succeed in this test (test of love towards others) I will not succeed in my journey to live like Christ.

It is today that I was reading Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life that I found what was God trying to teach me for almost three years now. I was in the 7th day of the forty days devotional book, and the topic was about how we believers can bring glory to God. I was struck on the second reason, it says "We bring glory by loving other believers. When you were born again, you became a part of God's family. Following Christ is not just a matter of believing; it also includes belonging and learning to love the family of God...It is your responsibility to learn how to love as God does, because God is love, and it honors Him."

I just felt an overwhelming feeling as I read the paragraph about loving others. For me, I took it not for believers only but also for the pre-believers (I don't want to use the term "Unbelievers" because I am hoping that God will let them be believers as well, credit goes to Bishop Manny Carlos of VCF). I realized that God has been loving me for who I am. He accepted me without even making me feel guilty of my past life (Heb 10:17). 

What I lacked in my heart is God's graciousness towards me. I am a sinner, but still he chose to love me and even I continuously sin he still loves me (Eph 2:4-5). It is because of God's grace that I am saved. I forgot that I was once a drunkard, a smoker, and all the bad things you can call me, but God chose to love me. God made me realized that in order for me to forgive that person, I should think first on how God forgave me and love me, so that I may know what His grace is all about. 

There are always difficult people that we will encounter in our life. Difficult people are those who love to push your button of anger. They can be your parent, a sibling, a friend, an in-law, a neighbor or even a random people that you meet at school, workplace or even at church.

God allows us to sin, so we may know how it is to be forgiven;

God allows us to get hurt so we may know how it is to forgive.

I am not perfect, so was that person who have hurt me. I am God's child, so was he. So what is the reason I cannot love him? :) I just realized that life is a series of tests. And this encounter with this man is one of God's test for me. Today, I choose to forgive him not partially, but fully! I choose to love him as God loves me. Not because I need to, but because God wants me to and by loving him, God is glorified (Rom 15:7). I am not doing this for myself, but I am doing this for God. :)

Photo from: http://www.zazzle.com

God created us as perfectly imperfect people so we may know that by His grace alone, we are saved (Eph 2:8-9).